True North: A family magazine for Bend and Central Oregon.

Beating Bullying: Keeping Our Kids Safe at School
by The Human Dignity Coalition

As parents, we all want our children to have friends, join clubs or teams, and fit in. We know school is at times hard and sometimes cruel, but we hope that if they can negotiate the social waters just enough, they'll make it through relatively unscathed and grow up to be stronger and more confident for the experience. But what if they don't? What if some minor trait or obvious physical manifestation of their difference betrays them? Statistics indicate they will be bullied.

For some kids, the statistical likelihood of being bullied is staggering. Twenty-four percent of children ages 8 to 11 reported that race-related bullying takes place at their school either occasionally or often. Students with developmental, psychological, and physical disabilities are at substantially higher risk of being bullied. Even geography can make a difference. Rural students are 26% more likely to experience bullying than their urban counterparts.

According to the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center, bullying causes youth to feel tense, anxious, and afraid. It can affect their concentration in school, causing them at times to avoid school altogether. Harassment is listed as the number one reason why students drop out of school. Constant bullying can affect children's self-esteem and feelings of self-worth, leading them to become socially isolated, withdrawn, depressed, anxious and insecure. Unfortunately, in extreme cases, bullying can be devastating, creating adults with high levels of depression and poor self-esteem. The worst result of bullying can be suicide.

The majority of schools want to end this problem. In 2001 a statewide law increased protection for Oregon students against bullying, but the definitions and guidelines were not clearly established and schools were left to generate their own policies. As a result of the ambiguity in the law, school administrators and staff were unable to clearly define acts of bullying and the subsequent consequences, and bullying remains a problem. A recent 2008 Oregon Healthy Teens Survey found 41 percent of eighth graders reported they have been harassed at school in the past 30 days. A survey from Gay-Lesbian-Straight Education Network of 6,209 middle and high school students who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or queer (LGBTQ), found that 86% experienced harassment at school in the past year, 61% felt unsafe at school because of their sexual orientation, and about 33% skipped a day of school in the past month because of feeling unsafe.

On March 25, 2009, new legislation sponsored by Basic Rights Oregon (BRO) was approved by the Oregon House of Representatives by a 50-9 vote. HB 2599 clarifies the definition of bullying and requires school districts throughout the state to both designate a point person on bullying and create a transparent process so students and parents know where to go for help if needed.

Human Dignity Coalition (HDC), established in 1992, is a local nonprofit organization working to promote equality for LGBTQ people in Central Oregon. HDC endorsed HB2599 and worked with BRO to pass the bill. Working with LBGTQ youth has given HDC insight into the local bullying problem these youth encounter. As one local high school student stated: "There were horrible instances of harassment...Generally teachers were supportive when a specific incident happened and tried to react appropriately if specific harassment was noticed. Overall, I believe they were just unaware of the extent of the problem. Students were pretty good about doing stuff out of earshot of the teachers."

Hearing these stories and statistics can be discouraging, but it is important to understand that all of these issues can be addressed and diminished. There are many effective ways for parents, teachers, and peers to put an end to bullying. As parents, connect with your school boards and principals. Ask them about their bullying policies, strategies used to prevent and address bullying in school, and implementation of HB2599. Talk with your children about differences and ask them if they feel safe at school.

No one expects bullying will end simply because laws and policies have changed. It is crucial, however, to ensure that if bullying does happen, it is addressed by providing access to support and advocacy from peers and school staff.

What to do if your child is being bullied:

1. Ask the child directly. Often children don't want to tell their parents due to shame and embarrassment, or fear that their bully will retaliate. Look for signs such as: fear of going to school, lack of friends, missing or damaged belongings, and increased fearfulness and anxiety.

2. Work with the school immediately to make sure your child is safe, that effective consequences are applied toward the bully, and that monitoring at school is adequate. Advocate for involvement of the bully's parents. If the bullying is happening on the way to and from school, arrange for the child to get to school with older, supportive children, or take him or her until other interventions can take place.

3. If your child is timid and lacks friends, encourage participation in positive social groups which meet his or her interests. Developing your child's special skills and confidence in the context of a positive social group can be very helpful.

4. Suggest that the school implement a comprehensive anti-bullying program. Visit Basic Rights Oregon at www.basicrights.org and download the Safe Schools Implementation Tool Kit for more information. A home-and-school association meeting to discuss and support such an initiative can be helpful.

The Human Dignity Coalition organizes programs which support queer youth and their allies and offers Diversity Training for businesses and organizations. Learn more at www.humandignitycoalition.org.