February/March 2010
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Birth Stories by Daryl McCarl 
Shaelyn's BirthWritten by her Dad, Daryl McCarl I went into the birth of my first child with no illusions. I expected the birthing experience to be painful, tense, uncomfortable, noisy, bloody and overall unpleasant. I'm a realist. I watch TV. On those shows you always see the laboring mom propped up in a hospital bed, sweating, screaming, doctor and husband yelling, "Push, you're almost there. PUSH!" The mother barks at the husband with some predictable remark like, "Don't touch me!" The camera then pans to the husband's panic-stricken face, totally unsure of what he should do as his wife lies there in pain. NBC prepared me for all that. And for the most part, all of that happened with our first birth, although if the camera panned over to my face, it wouldn't have revealed panic so much as signs of disconnectedness. I distinctly remember squeezing my wife's hand trying to absorb some of her pain, counting between contractions, but feeling totally disconnected from the whole experience; like I was just an extra body in the room, which totally stunk, because my daughter was being born! And my wife wasn't too keen on what she was feeling during the whole experience either. Fast forward two years to our second pregnancy. Our doula friend suggested that we try Hypnobabies®, self-hypnosis for childbirth. My wife and I attended a six week hands-on course that taught my wife how to produce anesthesia from her thoughts. No, seriously! Through a series of hypnotic scripts, affirmations, and relaxation music my wife actually learned how to create mental anesthesia during birth. And I learned how to help her do it. During the entire six weeks I felt like we were preparing for this upcoming momentous and spiritual event together. We were truly a team this go-around, ready to welcome our second child in a calm, peaceful way. No drugs. No screaming. No anxiety. When my wife had her first contraction, rather than rush off to the hospital in a panic, we used our relaxation and hypnosis techniques at home for awhile. Our doula came over and helped, too. When we went to the hospital, my wife was at 8cm and completely calm (our nurse Cindy commented that she had never seen a woman so calm at 8cm). In the birthing room, we dimmed the lights, turned on the relaxation CD and read hypnosis scripts to reinforce the peacefulness of the moment. I was able to help my wife through the entire experience, and knew exactly what to say and do to help her stay calm and comfortable. The hospital staff was amazing — rather than being skeptical about the hypnosis, they were supportive and respectful. Dr. Murphy in particular was so encouraging and kind and positive. Never once did my wife yell at me or scream in pain. I even have a picture of her at 9cm in the bathtub, smiling. After just 3 pushes, my second daughter was born! Our nurse said later that she'd never seen a more peaceful natural birth. Our second birth would make for some pretty boring television, but for those looking for an alternative to the stereotypical chaotic and stressful birth, I can't recommend it highly enough! Daryl McCarl is Dad of 2 wonderful little girls. He works at Sunriver Resort doing website design and marketing. |
